week 12 terrible video
The nights are the worst! Kline is so bad and I am so out of control with emotion and anger that I can not even video tape his itchy fits. I curse god during these hours, wondering how he/ she could let something like this happen to babies? How could a doctor prescribe something that could do this to babies and adults? How is there not one second of relief for my baby?
At this point I don't even care if this pisses off god or damns me to the firery gates of hell!
So if I piss off god by saying this, and well if he doesn't understand where I am coming from and sends me to hell, who cares, it could not be any worse than what we are going through with my poor son and his topical steroid addiction. I would sell my soul to the devil, to save my baby from this constant hell known as topical steroid addiction. And you can quote me on that god!
And to those of you who have faith, you better pray for me!! ;-)
Thanks the atheist!
Xoxoxoxoxox
Loren
Heart breaks. From all I've heard and all I've experienced, God (who I hear wants a personal relationship with us all) is up for hearing what you have to say and wants you to be real. If it's lamentations that you got, then let them pour out sister. So sad that the misadvise of "mainstream" Drs put your precious boy in this predicament :( Hold tight sweet mama!! Praying for you and your whole family. Hugs - from another mama.
ReplyDeleteIf God exists, I am sure he/she can handle your post. I am so sorry you are experiencing this hell with your wee boy. Sending love and healing to you both xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh ! Do I know exactly were you are now .. I have tears in my eyes ... Because I have screamed and yelled at God the one that I adore !!! I really would give anything for him ... I did all my life , and I never wanted any kind of medication in my body ... But I never thought of cortisone being such a big a$$ medicine so I did not understand god why he would make me go thru this hell . Many times I have being mad at him and I think all he cares is that you are honest with him . By the way I don't know how but I
ReplyDeletehad a feeling you guys don't really believe in him ... This is your chance to do so ... Tell me ?! What do have to loose ?! Try giving all of your faith to him ... I guaranty you he will not deceive you . And I know because he is always in my heart , I can feel his love , I can feel his protection and his greatness . And so will you both ... Remember he is healing it's just that this shit you have to get bad in order to get better , that's the ticket to the other side but at least there is another side :) I will pray and you both ave to grow your faith in god ... And how can you not ? Look at your boy he is depending on your guys faith and I know you can find it in your hearts x God be with you he already is but is waiting for you guys !
Sweetie that is heartbreaking. The sheer exhaustion is so wearing, and I remember sounding just like you do there, absolutely desperate. Hang on in there chick, this will pass, it is just total and utter hell going through it. I have no faith, but think I am sure anyone would cut you some slack with what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog for sometime now and my heart breaks for you and your son. I pray that God will hear your pleas. I continue to pray for your family daily. You are an amazing Mother and may you find peace in your life soon.
ReplyDeleteWow. Loren. There really are no words.I am so sorry you are going through this. You are right, this could very well be us. I read the links you gave me, and I'm still in denial, I want our "soap switch" we are doing now to be the answer. I don't want this to be my baby. :( But Sam's skin does look like red skin doesn't it. I intend to still continue on the path we are on, but in the back of my mind this possibility is now awakened an if our efforts to clean our home of all traces of detergent does not show any improvement, I will probably be investigating your camp.
ReplyDeleteI have sensed something so awful about those steroid creams all along. But it is all they doctors will give, and while I try to stay away, anytime that things get too bad I have given in and used them sparingly enough to take away that edge. So I haven't truly done a withdrawl like this. Now I am fearful, but at the same time seeing this makes me realize we can't go back to steroids ever again. What an evil prescription!!! I just feel sick. I do believe in God, and I am praying for you, but at the same time, seeing that video I completely understand why you feel to shake your fists at heaven.
Thanks for visiting my blog. Much love to you, you and Kline are in my heart!
Carrie
Carrie, what is your email? Maybe epwe could email insteade of comment...it is way easier, but it also may be good for others to see all of our conversations so maybe this is better? Anyway...the thing is if Sam has red skin, which I too am not a doctor, but the signs are leaning towards it in my non medical opinion.....you can change everything in the world, put him in a bubble and nothing will make it better. Kline's body has to be off steroids completely and his capillaries have to heal before his skin will be better! So, if YIU take him off the roids and change other things, you will always ? If it was the roids or the changes? Maybe change the things you want to and if there is no difference try to go roids free. The good news is, red skin can be cured.....it is he'll but in a year or less Kline will be better. If you are on facebook I can add you t the support private group and you can ask all the ? You want we also have a google group you could join. Email me! Lorenbmccormac@yahoo.com xoxoxoxoxoxoxoooxo. I feel for little Sam and all of yu, I know what yu guys are going through!! Xoxoxoxoxoxooxox
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