Well, it was my birthday this week. Turned 38, gulp! I can say hands down that my 37th year was by far the worst year of my life.
The itchy bastard took the whole year and made it a huge pile of shit! No sleep, no life and pure torture for my sweet little baby bear.
It is Amazing what the human body and mind can deal with and not just completely break down, shut down, and run away! Although I must say there have been plenty of times I wanted to flee......hop on a plane or jump in a car...or get on a donkey for that matter, and get the hell out of dodge! Somewhere that there was no screaming, somewhere sleep was able, somewhere my baby was not suffering, and somewhere far away from our fucking bath tub!!! But, we stay, that's what we do, we fight and deal and pray that tomorrow will be better. And when that doesn't work we curse the gods, devils, and everyone in between.
So, year 38 of my life...please be better!
Please, let us get rid of the itchy bastard for good!
Please, let us get out of the bathroom and out into the world!
Please, let our marriage have time to mend!
And please, please please...let my baby have a "normal" kids life! With fun trips, playing outside, preschool and friendships!
Please, let the itchy bastard go the fuck away for good!
Thank you, xoxoxox Loren the old lady!
Remember Loren, you are still my baby, 38 or not, still my beautiful baby girl. And yes, we pray each day is better for Kline and you and Denny. You know it is getting better, just not as fast as it needs to be. So stay strong, as I pray every night that you do, and keep loving each other and fighting the ithcy bastard to its death. Don't let the MF'r beat you down, you are too good to let that happen.. Keep fighting! Remember, We love you little girl, always have and always will -- Kline and Denny too! Love 'em everyday! GMa & GPa
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to one STRONG mama!!! You are awesome and so is Kline! What you have all gone through will make you stronger even if you can't see that now! You have fought an amazing battle and WON! Looking at his pictures show how happy he is now! He will have a LONG happy life without the effing itchy bastard in his life. You will have amazing years watching him grow! You will have the energy and time to heal your marriage! Keep fighting as the war is almost over. Looks like maybe a few more battles to come, but they will be small. I absolutely LOVE reading your blog! The swearing is one of my favorite parts! I have a potty mouth at work - not very lady like but working in an ER with a lot of death and dying and stress does that. My hubby chastises me at home when I swear, so I have to keep it at work - the one day a week I go. So I find it refreshing to not only see Kline's progress, but to secretly admire your will to so openly swear! :)Love it!
ReplyDeleteHi Loren! I am soooo NOT super mom! Thank you for your comment! :) I work 1 day a week at the hospital - a 12 hour shift which takes me 1-2 days to recover from. I did not work at all for 3 months of TSW. The kids are 7, 10, and 11 so they are now self sufficient in a lot of things! I pay them to clean the house 2 x a week! I work 8-10 hours a week reviewing medical records - I do this from my home computer so I can do it in my pajamas! :) But I only do it in 1-2 hour increments as my brain does not function that well for too long. I could not have done this without my hubby working overtime so I could stay home to heal! He is the super hero! :) Hugs to you and Kline!!
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